Germ Invasion

Germ Invasion

One of the things that happened after I had my episode was my conscious observance of where germs lurked. There was no clear, safe place where they didn’t exist so my obsession began with washing my hands. If there was a bottle of water being handed to me, my first thought was that the bottle needed to be cleaned. Anything and everything that could be washed, had to be washed – bags, shoes, wallets. What couldn’t be washed had to be wiped down with wipes like the phone, eyeglass case, and handles everywhere.

Someone touching my things was not acceptable either. I would grab the wipe or disinfectant spray then go to that spot and clean. Lending my things was difficult especially since it meant getting germs on them even my books. Public bathrooms made me sick to my stomach. Wipes were used for everything. Nothing was touched with my hands. Whether it was an obsessive compulsive disorder, I’m unsure but even today these are some things that I still do.

My constant need to have my hands clean hasn’t stopped. The panic of germs everywhere is less than before but it still exists. In some ways it’s a good thing considering all that is being learned about bacteria and infections but logically I know that sometimes my habits are extreme. Those around me have to constantly remind me to stop. To stop getting rid of the germs. So don’t give me a handshake because I’ll just wipe my hand. Instead give me a hug to remind me that all I need is that one shower a day not the constant cleansing.