I Like Shopping A Little Too Much

I Like Shopping A Little Too Much

One of my obsessions is shopping. This isn’t something that happened as a result of my mental illness, I’ve always loved to buy things. However, after I got sick, the need to go shopping did get worse. It was used as a way to recreate myself, find myself, and discover myself. A simple blouse in a bright color meant that I would be too obvious so softer colors were chosen. Buying organic and natural products was a must. Finding the latest handbag took some research. I wanted to be a different person, a better person, a woman that wasn’t sick. Only no matter how many things were purchased, it didn’t change the fact that I had a mental illness.

Years later I’ve gotten better about my shopping but it still takes an effort to scale back. My habit isn’t as bad as it used to be but there are moments that it’s overdone. Sometimes telling myself that something can’t be purchased is necessary because I know I can get out of control. My reasons for shopping aren’t the same though. Now it’s more about if I love it then it’s a must have and if it’s a like then is it worth replacing what I already have. Other times it’s about simply wanting more like more Disney stuff for a particular trip or a specific shirt. Sometimes I even buy things because I found something that I don’t have and it would go great in the house or have a great use.

My shopping habits don’t always make sense either. There are moments when upgrading an item like a phone seems like the best deal ever so I go for it. Only after doing the purchase and thinking about the actual upgrade is it realized that my impulsive idea was a bad one. So that’s when I go back and cancel the order. Realizing that I’ve made a bad purchase doesn’t happen often but those are moments when it’s obvious my shopping habit is a problem.

Quitting shopping has even been tried. I did it for . . .Okay I tried to stop shopping for Lent. The effort was made. There is no good reason as to why I didn’t succeed. It was simply the will power wasn’t there so I will keep trying. Shopping is fun, distracting, exciting, and entertaining but it’s also expensive, impulsive, and only takes a moment to put on a card. Taking the time to reconsider each purchase is necessary because I can’t afford this addiction.